


Nothing changes, except everything

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Don't Ask Don't Tell, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Relationship Upgrade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1927221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't Ask Don't Tell is repealed, but John doesn't think much will change for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing changes, except everything

**Author's Note:**

> Posted for McSheplets challenge #90: Change of Plans

"You could still come out," Rodney said reasonably.

"Rodney," John said, giving him a look.

"Telling people you're gay wouldn't say anything about _our_ relationship," Rodney pointed out.

John looked at the ground for a moment, before facing Rodney again. "There are already way too many people who suspect. I don't want the rest to join them."

"Hmm," Rodney said, deep in thought. Eventually, he looked over to where John stood a few feet away. "We could still—"

"No!" John immediately said.

"We can't even _discuss_ it?!" Rodney asked.

"No, we can't," John said, crossing his arms.

"It's a valid option. I don't think we should dismiss it out of hand."

"Rodney, no." John shook his head, uncrossing his arms. "You'd think I'll just let you walk out there without me? If something happened to you..." John dropped his gaze, but he continued. "I'd never be able to forgive myself. Or Lorne," he added as an after thought.

"Ha!" Rodney pointed at John triumphantly. John frowned at him. "You said 'Lorne', which means you _did_ think about which team to put me on."

John gave him an annoyed look, mouth forming a bit of a pout. "Okay, maybe I _did_ think about it, but it's not which team _you'd_ be on. If _I_ can't go with you, you'd think I'd let you go through the gate without Teyla and Ronon?"

"Oh," Rodney said, deflating. "But they're _your_ team. I mean, we're all a team, but you asked them to join you, and they're on Atlantis because of _you_. Plus, you honestly think Ronon would listen to _Lorne_."

"Oh, he'd listen," John said without hesitation. "It's not _Ronon_ I'd worry about obeying. He's a soldier. If I tell him to listen to Lorne he will, unless Lorne is wrong and even then he'll only disobey if it's going to hurt someone. And I wouldn't want it any other way."

"So, you're worried about _me_ taking orders, is that what you're saying?" Rodney asked, glaring at John.

"That's _not_ what I'm saying. I know you'll be fine. You've never disappointed me in the field," John said.

Rodney lifted his head and huffed. After a moment of silence, he said, "So you'd take Lorne's team out?"

"I _told_ you I haven't really thought about it," John said. Then he shifted from one foot to the other. "I could spend more time training people. Be a more hands-on commander here on base."

Rodney blinked. "What?"

"When we first came here, we needed as many people out there as possible. But now we have supplies and enough teams, it's not really necessary for me to go on missions." John looked at the ground, biting his lip before continuing overly casual. "And I'd be here in case something happens."

Rodney stared at him. "You...you want to stay here, waiting for me when I come back from missions? What is this? Some kind of fifties housewife syndrome? Will you wait for me in the gate room with cake? Should I shout out, 'Honey, I'm home!'?" Rodney sing-songed.

John's jaw clenched and his look darkened. "Fuck you," he said and turned around.

"John?" Rodney asked after him, but John didn't even falter and continued to walk to the door. "John! Come on." But John was out the door without looking back. "Dammit," Rodney said, following him.

John wasn't too far ahead.

"Come on. Let's go back in. Do you really want to discuss this out here?" Rodney said, jogging up to him.

John didn't slow down and looked straight ahead, completely ignoring Rodney.

"John," Rodney tried again, but to no avail.

John continued walking, Rodney on his tail, who smiled awkwardly at a marine walking by. Eventually, they ended up in front of John's room. John entered, and Rodney followed before the door could close in front of him.

"Okay, what the hell? Apparently, I said the wrong thing, and, yes, maybe the housewife comparison was a bit over the top. I'm sorry, I guess," Rodney said.

"You guess?" John said, giving him a look.

"I'm sorry, okay? I just... I honestly don't get it. I mean we're talking about _you_ here. Whenever there's a suicide mission to be taken, you can't get your hand up fast enough to volunteer. And now you don't even want to go on _missions_?"

"First, I only go on suicide missions if we have absolutely no other choice. You know that," John said, looking directly at Rodney. Rodney nodded in acknowledgement. "Secondly," John continued, "I'm not saying I don't _want_ to go on missions anymore. I'm just saying, I don't _have_ to."

"Of course, you don't have to. You _never_ had to after we re-established contact with Earth, which was almost _six_ years ago, so don't tell me this is about that."

"It's part of it," John said stiffly.

"Well, not the main part obviously, or you'd have stopped going on missions at some point in the last _six_ years," Rodney nearly shouted the last words.

"I already told you, I'm not letting you go out there alone!" John said annoyed.

"So do you want me to stay on base too?" Rodney asked.

"If I could, I'd tie you to the bed and never let you out," John muttered.

"What?" Rodney said with wide eyes.

"Listen, I never said I was good at this. With my first marriage... I don't think I cared enough about her. And maybe I'm overcompensating now," John said, dropping his gaze. "I _know_ that. And I'm _trying_ to be rational about this. I'd _never_ ask you not to go on missions anymore," John finished, looking at Rodney again.

"Did you just ask me to marry you?"

"No, I did _not_ ," John said, looking darkly at Rodney.

"Because with the ' _first_ marriage'...that kind of implied that there'd be a second and who—"

"Rodney!" John shouted.

"Yes, all right. I appreciate that you're not trying to tell me what to do, and I _really_ appreciate that you care, but I still don't get why _you_ want to stay on base."

John only looked at him for a long moment. "Every time we step through the gate is a risk," he eventually said evenly. "And it was okay— _is_ okay. I do it for the expedition, for this galaxy, for our team, and to keep you and everyone else safe. When I decided to come here, I gave up my life, knowing I might not return. Going on missions _was_ my life for the longest time."

"But it's not anymore," Rodney concluded, a bit of wonder in his voice.

"Well, at least not just," John said evasively. "I'm not getting any younger. I could retire in a few years."

"You want to _retire_?!" Rodney asked.

"I didn't say that. But I'm looking at things differently now. It's actually not uncommon for base commanders not to go in the field. How often do you think General _Landry_ goes on missions?"

"Well, he's a _General_ ," Rodney said.

"So? I could be too," John said. "When I started out, I wouldn't have _dreamed_ of it. I didn't think I'd make it past Major. At a certain point it becomes politics. If I'd wanted that, I would have stayed with Nancy, the good son and husband in addition to a good officer. But I couldn't." He got a far away look for a moment, before continuing. "But now, things are different. That glass ceiling that always existed for gay officers even if they _didn't_ tell, because they can't have a spouse...it doesn't have to be like that for me anymore."

"And when you say spouse..." Rodney prompted.

"Rodney!"

"Just checking," Rodney said.

"There are a lot of reasons to stay on base," John said, " _That_ was what I wanted to say."

"You don't want to risk your life unless you have to," Rodney said.

"I'm not a coward. I'd never—"

"I know. You'll keep going as long as I'm going because you won't trust Lorne to keep me safe," Rodney said.

"It's not that I don't trust him," John said. "I know that he'd do everything to protect—"

"What if I stopped going on missions too?" Rodney interrupted him.

"What?" John asked.

"I like the discoveries that we make on missions, but it's not like I don't get to work on things if _other_ teams bring them in. And let's face it, we spent a lot more time running for our lives or trading for stupid fake chicken than making amazing scientific discoveries. I mean I could still go on missions if there was reason to believe my expertise would be needed, right?"

"Of course," John said. "But...I'd never ask you to stop."

"Well, you didn't. But I can see your point, and I have to agree that I would very much like to survive our remaining time on Atlantis. And if it means that we can be openly together..." Rodney shrugged and smiled at John.

"Are you sure?" John asked anxiously. "I don't want you to do this just because you think I can't handle it. I'm _fine_."

"I _know_. And as I said, it doesn't have to mean we'll never go on missions again."

"Of course not," John agreed, barely containing a widening smile.

"If there are some _really_ promising signals, we can schedule a special mission. I don't even think it would be against fraternization rules to go with your husband for just _one_ mission."

"Husband?" John asked teasingly. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Rodney looked at him, not returning the grin. "Yeah, I think I am."

John's face fell. "No," he said.

Rodney's eyebrows rose. "You don't want to?"

"Not like— You can't ask me to marry you like that! Come here," John said, dragging Rodney and pushing him to the bed until he sat down on it. Then he lowered himself to his knees.

"Could you be any more old-fashioned?" Rodney asked, but it was without bite and he smiled.

"I'm an old-fashioned guy," John said. "And I don't even have a ring. This is all your fault," he said reproachfully.

"Weren't you going to ask me something?" Rodney said teasingly.

John gave him a quick glare, but then took Rodney's hand and looked very solemn. He didn't say anything for a long moment. Then he took a deep breath and asked, "Will you marry me?"

Rodney's smile widened. "Yes, I think I will."

John playfully hit his knee.

"Hey! No spousal abuse!"

"Rodney!"

"Yes! Yes, I will."

John cupped his face and pulled him into a kiss. Then he stood up, wincing slightly. Rodney stood up as well, still smiling brightly, happily. John returned the smile.

Then he suddenly shook his head. "Wow."

"I know. _Engaged_ ," Rodney said.

"Engaged, not going on missions anymore, being _out_." John snorted. "You know, when I first got the final order for the repeal I thought that nothing would really change for me."

Rodney laughed. "Slightly off the mark with that one."

"Even a general can err every now and then," John said.

"Ha! You're far from that."

" _One_ promotion," John pointed out.

"Oh, and by the way: If you think I'll be your typical Air Force Wife, you'll be very disappointed," Rodney said.

"Disappointed by you? Never," John said, pulling Rodney into his arms.

"Yeah, you're right," Rodney said dismissively, letting John pull him into another kiss.


End file.
